Where You Are is the Perfect Place to Start

Where You Are is the Perfect Place to Start

Where You Are is the Perfect Place to Start
It does not matter how you feel; where you are is the perfect place to start.
Remember, you can't be anywhere else. One thing you can take heart in is that no matter how in-the-flow or emotionally tangled you feel, if you follow your Intuition Compass you will always feel better and better and better.
Granted, it can be more challenging if you don't like the way you feel than if things are going great. But that doesn't mean you can't feel better from where you are.
And you don't have to grab the bull by the horns and turn it around. All you have to do is find a thought or action that feels better. If it is difficult to find a thought that feels better on the gnarly topic, start with something else. Would making yourself a cup of coffee feel like relief? Not 15 minutes from now or 5 minutes from now or even 10 seconds from now – does it feel like relief to make it now?
The insights from your Intuition Compass are always about right here right now.
Your Intuition Compass doesn't point to your Higher Self from 10 minutes ago or tomorrow any more than your magnetic compass sticks in the same position as you travel across the continent.
All that really matters is what you will think or do next, and whether it will feel better or worse. If you start from where you are, going through your normal routine, paying attention to what feels better or like relief, and turning away from what feels worse, things will get progressively better and better and better.
From right here right now, does opening your email feel better or worse.
From right here right now, does it feel better to sit by the window or outside on the porch.
From right here right now, does it feel better to start a certain project – not to do the project, just to do the first step – get out the materials or open the file. You will decide about the second step when the time comes.
Small stuff matters. The more you move in the direction of feeling better, the better and more expansive you feel. You are consciously raising your vibration.
And as you do so, the Universe through the Law of Attraction is rearranging itself to accommodate your journey of expansion.

You don't need to know how to get there. Let the Universe sort that out. All you have to do is keep observing whether what you are doing or thinking feels better or worse from where you are. Your arrival at what you are wanting, your joy, is inevitable.

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Your Intuition Compass in Day-to-Day Life

Your Intuition Compass in Day-to-Day Life

Your Intuition Compass in Day-to-Day Life
When I was young we used to play the Hotter-Colder game. Someone would pick an object in their mind and you had to find it. If you were moving away from an object they would say, “colder...colder...colder....” There was always the guy who tried to be funny, “You're like dry ice, Bro.” But even if you were as cold as dry ice, the second you turned around and headed in the right direction, they said, “warmer...warmer...warmer....” Whenever you veered off course, you heard “colder....” So in a series like “warmer...warmer...colder...warmer...warmer...colder...warmer...hot...red hot!” people guided you to your destination.
Your Intuition Compass works in the same way. Once you decide what you want, every step you take will feel either better or worse from where you are. If you feel better or like you just got some relief, you are moving toward what you want. If you feel worse, you are delaying what you want.
Many people who experiment with the Law of Attraction mistakenly believe they should not feel bad, because you have to be happy and feel good to get what you want. This idea, while it may be true in some contexts, is not very helpful to people who are experiencing bad-feeling emotions. Feeling happy is beyond their emotional reach. If they try to do it, they can only succeed to the extent that they have to maintain a force of will to keep it intact. When they lose their will to maintain the facade, they recoil to their former state of misery or worse.
That does not mean that a person who feels bad can't become happy. What it means is that they have to take smaller steps. Because when you are on the badfeeling end of the emotional spectrum, what feels better does not feel good, it feels like relief.
Relief always feels better.
And just like the game where you are “dry ice,” no matter how miserable you feel, the instant you think a thought that is expansive, leading you in the direction of your intention and joy, you get the “warmer” relief feeling that verifies you are on course.

 

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What About Big Life Decisions?

What About Big Life Decisions?

What About Big Life Decisions?
From the perspective of your Higher Self, there is not much difference between choosing which store to go to and choosing whether to end your relationship with your spouse. But on-the-ground in the thick of it, some decisions are tangled in a maelstrom of powerful emotions. It may seem like relief to end the relationship one moment, then a minute later you second-guess yourself and decide to stick it out.
You can use the same process as the one detailed above in the “Resolving Conflict Using Your Intuition Compass” section. Start with the most powerful or in-yourface emotion and work to become okay with it. Find the the thought that is in conflict, and decide what you want instead. I suggest writing it down, because the next powerful emotion might step up and demand attention right away. You may have to cycle through several emotions before you start to get a clear picture of what exactly it is that you want to experience.
At that point you will either know what you want to do or you won't. If you don't, you will at least feel better knowing what it is you want and can trust that the Universe will figure out how to bring it to you.
Now, suppose the decision involves two alternatives. For example, you are having trouble deciding whether to take a new job or go into business for yourself. One method is to pretend you are at a crossroads. The path in one direction is to take the job. The path in the other direction is to go into business for yourself. In your imagination, venture down the path of taking the job. What will the job be like? What are you doing? How does it feel? Does it feel better, like a relief? Or do you get a bad feeling?
Now use your imagination to go down the path of starting your own business. Picture people enjoying your product or service. How does it feel? Does it feel better, like relief or exhilaration? Or do you feel heavy?Don't get too caught up in the logistics yet. Your comfort zone will want to throw up scenes on the screen of your mind to deter you from the unknown – which is where personal growth always takes place. So when you picture your new job, you might balk at the commute or at imagined office politics. When picturing your own business, you might balk at the seemingly overwhelming skills you may  need to learn. Ignore these fear-based side trips for now. Assume they are false assumptions. Just feel the wanted vision of the choice.
By comparing the way you feel in the best-case scenario on these two imaginary journeys, you should get a sense which path will take you to what you are wanting.
Another technique is to make a list of pros and cons like the one my mother suggested. Don't bother trying to compare the two, rather pay attention to which of the two choices feels like it is the right one.
What if you still can't decide? What if there are some things you like about one choice and some things you like about the other? For instance, you like the security of a regular paycheck, but you also like the idea of working from home in your Sponge-Bob flannel pajamas. This is a beautiful situation for a conscious creator. Remember, you make all the rules. You can have it all your way. Simply  take all the things you like from each list and form them into a new master list.
Your job is to figure out what you want. It is the Universe's job to figure out how it will happen. You just need to follow your Intuition Compass and think the thought or do the action that feels better or feels like relief from where you are.
Don't try to figure out how it will happen. Not only is it not your job, but chances are you will delay the result you want. Let the Universe sort it out for you and enjoy the ride.

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Decision Making with Your Intuition Compass

Decision Making with Your Intuition Compass

Decision Making with Your Intuition Compass
When I was about 12 years old I was faced with a decision. I don't remember what it was, but I remember that my mother suggested I take a sheet of paper and write down all the advantages and disadvantages of each choice. Even though I was able to write many more advantages about one of the choices, as I was writing it was clear that I felt better about the other choice. My mother was teaching me to use my Intuition Compass.
Life is full of decisions -- some difficult, some easy, and others you make without giving it much thought. If you want to follow your path of least resistance, I suggest you use your Intuition Compass to help you choose, no matter how difficult or easy the decision may seem.
In the larger scheme of things you really can't make a wrong choice, because whatever you choose, you are moving toward expansion. If you choose the path that is in alignment, you are moving towards your toward expansion. If you chose a path of contrast, you create the opportunity to bring contrasting thoughts into alignment, and that is moving in the direction of expansion. Still, choosing the direction that is in alignment with what you are wanting feels better – and by definition is the path of least resistance.
If you think about the surprises in your own life path, you know that sometimes even the smallest choices were well worth following your intuition. Logic cannot tell you how your decision will turn out...but your Intuition Compass can. Which choice feels better? The simple choice of whether to go to the market that is closer or the one with discount pricing has the potential to set in motion a chain of events that could change the course of your life. An easy example might be running into a friend who is shopping with the very person who becomes your beloved.
Every time you take a step that feels better, no matter how small, you come closer and closer to living the life of your joy. And remember that the principle of Law of Attraction is at work: The thoughts you give birth to give rise to more thoughts of a similar vibration. Better-feeling thoughts lead to better-feeling thoughts, which lead to even better-feeling thoughts which lead to even better-feeling thoughts.

No matter how you feel when you start from where you are, consistently using your Intuition Compass leads you to joy.
You can start right here and now. Look at the simple decisions you make every day and ask which feels better.
Which feels better, ordering the dark roast coffee, or ordering the mocha latte?
Which feels better, filling up with regular or premium?
Which feels better, watching Dancing with the Stars, or reading a mystery?

It is just that simple. With practice, you gain confidence.
As you get better at it, you might find that the challenge of using your Intuition Compass is not the doing of it, it is the remembering to do it. Don't worry. For one thing, it starts to become so easy to follow the flow of what feels better, you don't have to think about it. When you are in the midst of a magical day, for heaven's sake keep flowing downstream. And when you're not, still don't worry. You don't get worse at following your intuition because you forgot to do it for a while. Now is the only time there is, so just start from here. It's like being a ship in the fog. As soon as you see the lighthouse you can start heading toward it, no matter how you got there.
If you feel the need to chastise yourself for forgetting, just start using your Intuition Compass with that:
Does it feel better or worse to beat myself up for forgetting to use my Intuition Compass?

The more you get in the habit of using your Intuition Compass, the easier it will be to recognize the thoughts that don't serve you, and the sooner you can get back on track.

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I want to feel important

I want to feel important

I want to feel important.
When you find what it is you want, you will feel a lot of relief. Again, you ride the momentum of the shift you made toward expansion. What thought or action feels better from where you are right here right now?
Often it is helpful to go back to that place where you understand that you are a being of Light and Love. Remember that you are unique; you possess a combination of spiritual gifts that are like no one else's. Because you are unique, you expand the Universe in ways only you can. Quite frankly, what could be more important than that?
So to feel important, you just need to think expansive thoughts. If you want to feel really important, find ways you express your joy and feel fulfilled. Because nothing is more expansive than that.

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Everyone takes advantage of me

Everyone takes advantage of me

Everyone takes advantage of me.
It is easy for you to see how this thought does not serve you. Now all you have to do is decide what you want instead.
I don't want people to take advantage of me.
Okay it feels better, but it has a problem. You are still expressing what it is you don't want. To be fair, this topic is not an easy one. If you were feeling broke, it would be easy to see that what you want instead is cash. But what is the wanted side of the topic of feeling taken advantage of? There is no clear opposite.
So look at how you feel when someone takes advantage of you.
It makes me feel like I am not important.
(I know I am putting words in your mouth, but go with it.)
This statement does have an opposite, something that you clearly want instead:

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Finding the Contrasting Thought and Deciding What You Want Instead

Finding the Contrasting Thought and Deciding What You Want Instead

Finding the Contrasting Thought and Deciding What You Want Instead
With the resistance gone, you can allow the anger to run its course. Now you can listen to your self-talk to determine what you were thinking that created the contrast. Sometimes the thought is so obvious – it is such a common thought pattern – that it is hard to recognize.
It's just so hard for me to imagine that people can be like that. That guy saw that I was cut off and just took advantage of the situation. My boss did the same thing. He knew I was coming by the store and he knew I wouldn't refuse. My boss took advantage of me. That jerk took advantage of me. It seems like everyone takes advantage of me.

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Becoming Okay With How You Feel

Becoming Okay With How You Feel

Becoming Okay With How You Feel
In the first step, you become okay with how you feel about the situation. This is much easier to do if you understand what emotions represent.

Emotions are the vibrational manifestation of the thought you are thinking. No matter how emotions feel, they are neither good nor bad. Emotions are information. They simply tell you where the thought you are thinking is, in relationship to what you are wanting. If the emotion feels good, the thought you are thinking is in alignment with what you are wanting. If the emotion feels bad, the the thought you are thinking is in contrast to what you are wanting.
A bad-feeling emotion is merely giving you the opportunity to bring a thought that does not serve you into alignment. These bad-feeling emotions are a necessary part of the manifestation process.
The fact is that we are constantly evolving. We never stop reaching for expansion, whether that expansion feels like relief or joy. As we reach for this expansion, thoughts that once served us but are no longer in alignment present themselves by using bad-feeling emotions like warning flashers, so we can refine and redefine what we want to experience.

Once you understand that emotions are simply information, it is easier to be okay with the way you feel.
Let's use a hypothetical example to work through the process of becoming okay with a bad-feeling situation:
Your supervisor calls you in the morning before you leave for work and asks you to pick up some toner for the printer at work. You are copresenting this morning and you need to print handouts. It is only slightly out of your way to get the toner, but you really hate that store because the service is lousy and the people who work there are surly and act put-out when you ask them to do something—like look up which toner goes with your printer.
This isn't really in your job description, and everybody knew the toner was getting low. There was a yellow light for the last week. But now you have to miss your “me time” with your coffee to make up for “their” mistake.
As you arrive you notice a person pulling out of a parking spot near the front. Giving the person plenty of room to pull out, you put on your blinker to signal that you are waiting for the spot. The person pulls out in front of you, opening a lane to opposing traffic. A guy pulls in from the other direction before you can move, jumps out of the car, and gives you a smirk.
You end up parking towards the back of the lot.
At this point it comes to your attention that you don't like what has just happened and you are angry about it.
Okay, I know it is not you, but let's pretend.
Rather than trying to ignore the anger and hoping it will go away before your meeting, you recognize it as contrast and realize you are thinking a thought that is not in alignment with what you are wanting. You recognize that anger is just telling you that you need to stop and pay attention.
You know you want to be okay with how you feel, so you ask yourself, “Is it okay that I am angry?”

Did you see the smirk on that guys face? He was just so proud of himself. It's a good thing I don't go for vandalism.
So you can't be okay that you are angry. Ask yourself, “Is it okay that I'm not okay with being angry?”
You know, guys like that should have to wear a hat that says “Butthead” on it, you know, to warn the rest of us.
Still not okay. So you step back even further. “Is it okay that I don't like the way I feel when I am angry?
Being angry sucks.
That one felt like relief. See, your emotional compass kicked in to let you know that you found the point where you can be okay with the situation. What we did here was step-by-step back away from the situation until we could find where we could be okay with it. If needed, we could have gone even further back by asking, “Can I be okay with the fact that I'm not okay with the way I feel when I am angry?” And we keep stepping back until we find the thought that feels like relief.
Once we find the spot that feels like relief, we have shifted the momentum and now we are headed toward expansion. We use this momentum to bring us closer to the center of the contrast. “Can I now be okay that I'm not okay with being angry?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Once again, we feel relief. So now we look again at, “Can I be okay that I am angry?”
He was so smug.
Still not ready. A good question to ask at this point is, “Was anger an appropriate response to the situation?”
He was a jerk. Of course I should be angry. So the answer is yes, anger is an appropriate response. There is relief in saying so.
Now the resistance collapses and you are okay that you are angry.

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Resolving ContrastUsing Your Intuition Compass

Resolving ContrastUsing Your Intuition Compass

Resolving ContrastUsing Your Intuition Compass
Contrast is no big thing...unless you make it a really big thing, which of course is your prerogative. The fact is, contrast is a very simple phenomenon.
Contrast occurs when a thought you are thinking lies in opposition to what you are wanting.
The fact that it feels bad brings it to your attention. Once it has your attention, you can become okay with how you feel; identify the thought that does not serve you; and decide what you want instead. (We'll talk about this process in a second.) Then you can return on your merry way, following your Intuition Compass.
What mucks up the waters is that we adopted a culture that glorifies struggle and espouses a stiff-upper-lip approach to life. Emotions are to be ignored and plowed through. The fact that the more we ignore these emotions the worse they feel only makes the struggle more “glorious.” So what if we are so full of stress that our bodies give out. We fought the good fight, right?

Abraham calls this upstream thinking. I call it nuts (and I am an expert at upstream thinking). At any rate, it's not very fun. I wonder who it was that thought it was a good idea in the first place.
There are three steps to resolving contrast:
• Become okay with how you feel about the situation
• Identify the thought that does not serve you and decide what you would rather have
• Follow the thought or action that feels expansive or feels like relief—follow your Intuition Compass.
Indeed, you follow your Intuition Compass throughout the process.

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Law of Attraction and Your Intuition Compass

Law of Attraction and Your Intuition Compass

Law of Attraction and Your Intuition Compass
We create our physically-focused experience by giving birth to a stream thoughts.
These thoughts are not random. They are organized by what is popularly called the Law of Attraction. This universal organizer allows us to create a physical experience by focusing our attention. It does this in two ways:
1. The thoughts you give birth to give rise to more thoughts of a similar vibration.
2. The thoughts you believe to be true manifest in your physically-focused experience.
Thus, you create your reality through your thoughts. You can have anything you can think of. In fact, the only rule to what you can create is: You make all the rules. You can have any experience you want, the way you want it. You constantly experiment with better and better experiences, bringing yourself joy in the process, all the while creating expansion in the Universe.
The steps you take to manifest a physically-focused experience are: 

1. Decide what you want.
2. Believe that you already have it.
3. Follow your Intuition Compass. That is, follow the thought or action that feels better, feels like relief, or feels like expansion.
The first step, deciding what you want, is pretty straightforward. It can be one thing or many things, it does not matter. You intuition compass is capable of leading you to the most synchronistic way to achieve all you want. In fact, it may be easier to create a whole lifestyle than, say, to manifest a car payment. This is because as you manifest experiences that you have little resistance to, the joy in their manifestation helps to lighten the resistance to the harder things.
This is the purpose of my video workshop series, Practical Life Design. It helps you to create and refine a complete life package so that you can ease into a life that brings you joy and fulfillment.
The second step, believing you already have it, is usually the most difficult for people. This is because they believe that the vibrations they interpret though their senses of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching are more real than the vibrations of the thoughts they are giving birth to.
In reality, vibration – no matter how it is interpreted in the mind, either through sensory or direct perception – is merely a reference point, a way to tell you where you are in relation to a particular experience. The thought form is the experience.
It becomes a physically-focused experience when you decide you can and, in truth, do have it.
The fact that it manifests a tad quicker as thought vibration than it does as sensory vibration gives rise to resistance. We look at the delay and, because we don't observe the experience through our physical senses right away, we think “I don't have it yet.” This is a contractive thought that doesn't feel good. We don't like the idea that we don't have it and we don't like that it feels bad to think that thought.
Pretty soon we've created a contrast vortex, fueled in one direction by our desire to have something and in the opposite direction by the resistance we've created because we don't like that we don't have it yet.
The trick, if you want to call it a trick, is to come at “Step 2: Believe you already have it” from the perspective of the Being of Light and Love that you are. You created what you are wanting when you decided you wanted it. That is, when you created the thought form, the vibration became a part of your personal Universe.
Believing that something is not real until you can perceive it with your five senses is a rule you fabricated when you adopted the culture you chose to be born into.
You can just as easily impeach that rule and create another rule that makes it easier to manifest your experience.
I will enjoy my experience from the very first second I think it. Becoming good at step 3, following your intuition compass, is a matter of building trust in your immediate feelings. Often what feels like relief or expansion flies the face of what you might think is logical or what you think you should do.
Trust comes with experience. So I suggest you observe what happens when you follow your intuition; observe what happens when you follow your logic; and observe what happens when you do what you think you should do. Gather data.
How did each work out for you? This process probably won't take you long,because chances are, you already know how each has worked out in the past.

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Using Your Intuition Compass

Using Your Intuition Compass

Using Your Intuition Compass
To use your Intuition Compass, all you need to know is if a thought feels better or worse than how you feel right here right now. If it feels expansive, it is moving you in the direction of joy. If it feels contracting, it is delaying the experience of your joy. As the Universe is always moving toward expansion, expansive thoughts will always put you in the direction of receiving your greatest joy.
Like any tool, you need to learn how to use it and get the feel of how it works. Let's start with something easy.
Picture biting into your favorite pastry.
Now picture chewing on a couple of aspirin.
Notice how you feel when you consider the two options.
Which one feels more like expansion?
I'm assuming most people will find the idea of the pastry more expansive than the idea of the aspirin. But this compass is very situational. Suppose you have a very bad headache. The idea of the pastry does not feel like expansion. In fact, it is a non-issue.
The real issue is, do you choose the headache or do you choose chewing a couple of aspirin? Neither feels like joy. The state of joy is so far removed from this situation that it is unimaginable. But in this case, it may feel like relief to eat the aspirin.
Which brings us to a point. There are many situations where joy is beyond reach.
But there will always be a choice or a thought that feels like relief..
The thought that feels like relief is always expansive.
Therefore, relief is always pointing you in the direction of joy. Just like a person lost in the fog will find home using magnetic compass, the person in despair can always find their way to joy if they follow their Intuition Compass.

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Your Intuition Compass Always Points Toward Home

Your Intuition Compass Always Points Toward Home

Your Intuition Compass Always Points Toward Home

You are a being of Light and Love. As such, you dwell within an ocean of love filled with others like yourself. You are, at the same time, a unique point of awareness and All-that-is. You never leave this ocean, although when you are physically-focused it can feel that way. Your connection with All-that-is when you are physically-focused is your intuition.
You chose to be physically-focused to experience contrast, and from that contrast to create expansion. The way we create this expansion is through giving birth to our thoughts. Since joy—love, ecstasy, freedom, oneness–is the vibrational expression of Source Energy, the more joyful your thoughts, the more expansion you create.
Each of us has a unique blend of spiritual gifts. Some people may be stronger at healing. Others may be stronger at teaching or communicating. Other still may be builders. Because we are unique, we are capable of expanding the Universe in ways no other person can. Creating expansion is joyful, and living our joy creates expansion.

Since each of us is inherently different, how we express this joy is different for each person, and how we create this joy is entirely up to us. So we experiment, creating experience after experience, each one designed to bring us more joy.
Since our intuition is our connection with our Higher Self, and the vibrational expression of our higher self is joy, then it only makes sense that we can use our intuition to tune into this joy. I call this process of tuning into your Higher Self, using your Intuition Compass.

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When to See an EFT Professional

When to See an EFT Professional

When to See an EFT Professional
A professional is a person who has been there and done that. Their job is to see through your “stuff” and help you get to the core issue as quickly as possible. They act as a coach and will encourage you to use EFT on your own.
However, in certain cases it is wise to see a professional. These include:
• Dealing with trauma: war, sexual, accident
• Dealing with loss of a loved one
• Dealing with addiction: tobacco, alcohol, sugar, drugs, etc.
• Dealing with low self esteem
• Dealing with an emotion that is always with you, like anger, sadness, guilt, shame, depression, dread, feeling overwhelmed, or feeling victimized by life
• Weight issues
• Chronic pain
This is not to say that you can’t make headway on your own. Rather, that a professional will help
you find the right places to look for the solutions. They will help you zero in on your core issues.

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Core Issues and Aspects

Core Issues and Aspects

Core Issues and Aspects
It is rare that a core issue would have only one aspect. If your father constantly ridiculed you, you might have feelings of shame for being ridiculed, fear that he will ridicule you again, anger and resentment for being ridiculed, guilt for being angry at your father, sadness because he doesn’t love you, sadness because you can’t get anything right, and shame that you can never be good enough for your father. Each of these aspects may take several rounds of tapping.
And as mentioned before, the core issue may be comprised of more than one experience. In addition to ridiculing you about the sock incident, he may have ridiculed your idea for a lemonade stand. He may have made fun of your boy/girl friend. He may have made fun of the way you dressed or what you liked to do. Each of these experiences may have multiple aspects.

If you don’t know where to start, look at the experiences and use logic. “If my father constantly made me feel stupid, I probably resented him. If I hated my father, and hating my father is a sin (honor thy father), then I probably feel guilty.” Make guesses and suppositions and try them out.
“I probably resent my father.” Then look closely and see if resentment is there. It’s okay to guess wrong. If it’s not okay to guess wrong, then maybe your father ridiculed you when you made mistakes.
Try asking yourself, “I don’t know what feeling I need to tap on, but if I did, it would be ____.”
As you get better at this self-examination, you will start to recognize your “tells,” the feelings or intuitions that tell you that you are getting close to discovering a locked-up emotion.
You have to be a detective in your own emotional life. EFT can become a great adventure of exploring your inner world. What comes out the other end of this adventure? The freedom to act and feel, knowing that what you are feeling is in the moment rather than a rehash of old pain.

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Aspects

Aspects

Aspects
Remember the four different set-up statements I gave for the example of being rejected by your boss:
Even though I feel hurt because my boss doesn’t like my idea...
Even though I am angry at my boss...
Even though I feel sad that I wasted so much time...
Even though Im afraid he’ll never like my ideas...
It is very possible that you can feel sad, angry, afraid and more, all at the same time about the same issue. These different emotions are called aspects. If you address the anger without addressing the sadness and fear, you might still be upset about the incident. Continuing to tap on anger will do nothing to release the fear, and if you are not tuned into your feelings, the intensity of what you are feeling may not drop after tapping on one or two of the aspects. A trauma such as an accident may have 15 or 20 different aspects to clear. In such a case, you may have to tap on many different aspects before you start to feel relief. But it’s worth the effort to be free of the trauma for
good.

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Core Issues

Core Issues

Core Issues
We can use the cookie example above to talk about core issues. Tapping on your craving for chocolate chip cookies may stop that craving, but often sweets are used as comfort foods. We may eat them to suppress guilt, loneliness, anger, sadness, etc. These emotions relate to a core issue that needs to be addressed. For example, the core issue might be a trauma such as sexual assault, which produces an undertone of fear experienced as a subtle agitation. This agitation may be temporarily relieved when you eat your cookie, or bag of cookies. While EFT can stop your craving for chocolate chip cookies, you might find the same need cropping up in an increased craving for ice cream (or something else), unless you address the core issue.
A core issue may be so pervasive that you cannot get relief by doing EFT on a surface incident that is in fact just a reflection of the deeper core issue. For example:
You feel hurt and rejected when your boss tells you he won’t use your idea. From his demeanor, you can tell he thinks the idea is naive.
You may be able to release the emotions by tapping on:
Even though I feel hurt because my boss doesn’t like my idea... Even though I am angry at my boss...
Even though I feel sad that I wasted so much time...
Even though I’m afraid he’ll never like my ideas...
But if the event is evoking a core issue, you may not be able to tap the issue down very far at all on a scale of 0-10. Perhaps your father ridiculed your ideas, made jokes at your expense, and made you feel stupid. Unless you find and release those core emotional issues, you might not successfully release the emotions surrounding being rejected by your boss. Or if you do release them in this situation, your feelings might be just as strong the next time someone rejects your ideas.
Getting to core issues can be easy or it can be hard. If the key issues have been buried in your mind for a long time, you may not be aware that they are there. In this case, you need to see a professional EFT practitioner. Even a professional may need to see a professional. I trade sessions with another practitioner because often I cannot see in myself insights that I see every day in my clients.
However, you may be able to get to some of these issues on your own. To do this, look at the emotion you are experiencing and ask yourself when you experienced this emotion before. What does this feeling remind you of? You are looking for a specific event. Typically, but not always, the event will have occurred before you are 10 years old.
Even though I feel ashamed that my father ridiculed me...
is nowhere near as effective as:
Even though I felt ashamed when my father ridiculed me for having my sock inside out in front of everyone at church...
If being ridiculed by your father was a reoccurring theme, you may have to tap on several incidents to resolve the core issue. And when you do, you may find that many of your boss issues have been quelled.

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Psychological Reversal

Psychological Reversal

Psychological Reversal
Put simply, a psychological reversal occurs when a person subconsciously believes there is more reason to keep an emotional pattern than to release it. This problem is common in people who have addictions or are trying to release body weight. Smokers rarely really want to quit. They typically use the habit to suppress a feeling such as anger, guilt, shame, or sadness. Suppressing the emotion is actually more important than their concern over the health threat of smoking.
Another example is the woman who overeats to become unattractive so she won’t be sexually harassed. She wants to lose weight to become attractive, but subconsciously she associates attractiveness with vulnerability to the pain of harassment. In order to avoid the pain, she will not allow the EFT to work.
Often I give people a homework of repeating the set-up statement. I may have them repeat the statement 3 times a day or more for three weeks.
Even though I really don’t want to lose this comfortable, protective weight, I deeply and
completely accept myself.
Even though I really don’t want to stop smoking, I deeply and completely accept myself.
This idea - that a behavior has hidden, underlying causes - brings up a couple more key concepts that must be addressed if you are not getting the results you are looking for: core issues and aspects.

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Why It Might Not Work

Why It Might Not Work

Why It Might Not Work
(That is, Why It Might Not Work for Beginners)
Perhaps the most common reason beginners may fail to see results is that they tap on a phrase that is too general. For instance, you might try to tap on:
Even though I’m angry at my mother, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Your anger might be made up of many things your mother did intentionally or unintentionally from the time she missed your soccer game to the time she yelled when you got a B in geometry to the time you overheard her fighting with your father in the next room to the time the other day when she questioned your priorities. When you tap on the generalized feeling, it’s going to be difficult to see progress.
By analogy, a painting with no detail would be unclear and without impact. But add just enough detail, and the whole picture can become clear and powerful. Just so, once you tap on a few defining moments in your “angry at Mom” picture, the whole thing starts clearing up.
To release the anger effectively, keep what you are tapping on specific.
Even though I’m angry at Mom for missing the soccer championships...
(From now on, add to each line: ...I deeply and completely accept myself. )
You’ll find that after a number of specific instances have been cleared, the general emotion topples like a table with its legs cut off.

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What Can You Use It For?

What Can You Use It For?
The short answer is: anything that has an emotional component. You can find countless examples:
• Addictions
• Anger
• Anxiety
• At risk Teenagers
• Business Issues
• Children's Issues
• Compulsions
• Cravings
• Depression
• Eating Disorders
• Family Issues
• Fears
• Guilt
• Grief
• Headaches
• Infidelity
• Lifestyle Changes
• Marital Issues
• Men's Issues
• Money/Attracting Abundance
• Musicians and theatrical performance
• Other physical issues
• Pain
• Phobias
• Pregnancy, Birth, New Families
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• Prenatal and Perinatal Issues
• Public Speaking
• Self-Esteem
• Self Image
• Serious Diseases
• Sexual Issues
• Shame
• Sleep disorders
• Smoking
• Spiritual matters
• Sports and Other Performance
• Stress and Anxiety
• Test Anxiety
• Trauma (accident)
• Trauma (sexual)
• Trauma (war)
• Trauma/Abuse/PTSD
• Trust Issues
• Vision and Hearing
• Weight Issues
• Women's Issues
• Writer's and other creativity blocks
Just to name a few.
However, in practice, you will have more success with some issues than others.

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Let’s Try It Out

Let’s Try It Out

Let’s Try It Out
Go get a cookie. So much the better if it is a soft chocolate chip cookie fresh out of the oven. One you can smell from here. Or is there something else in the house that you like even better? A Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. Doritos - barbecue or sour cream flavored. Or popcorn with butter.
Or Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia Ice Cream.
You get the idea. Find something you really crave, but you know is not good for you. Comfort food.
Some of you reading this will claim never to crave anything. You are perfectly happy eating a wholesome, square meal of meat, potatoes and vegetables every evening. Just so. You can sit in the corner and watch the rest of us. Just out of earshot if you please.
Now that they are gone, I can tell you that some people bottle their emotions so tight, they have trouble admitting that they even have emotions.
Where were we? Oh yes. Let’s evaluate how badly we want that cookie (or whatever yours is). On a scale of 0-10, where 0 = not at all, and 10 = you are about to suck it off the plate without touching it, how badly do you want that cookie? Don’t eat any of it, but get as close as you can so you can smell the tasty goodness.
If you said 0-3:
• you need to find something that you really crave. Or
• you snarfed down 5 already when I first started talking about it and you don’t want them any more. If this is the case, you’ll need to wait until the next time you crave it. Then, don’t eat it - try this exercise. Or,
• go sit in the corner with you-know-who.
Let’s do the set-up phrase. Tap on the karate chop point with two fingers and repeat after me:
Even though I really want this cookie [or ____], I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I really want this cookie, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I really want this cookie, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Now we do the tapping:
1. Start by tapping with two fingers on the eyebrow point about 7 times. I really want this cookie.
2. Seven times on the side of the eye. I really want this cookie.
3. Seven times under the eye. I really want this cookie.
4. Seven times under the nose. I really want this cookie.
5. Seven times on the upper chin. I really want this cookie.
6. Seven times on the collar bone (stay towards the center of your chest). I really want this cookie.
7. Seven times under the arm. I really want this cookie.
8. Seven times (with all five fingers) on top of the head. I really want this cookie.
Now repeat the 8 tapping points - again, tapping each point with two fingers 7 times. I really want this cookie.
Okay, now how do you feel about that cookie? Look good and hard at it. Sniff it. How does it smell? Take a small bite of it. Try to get a small taste of the chocolate. Now on a scale of 0-10 how badly do you want that cookie?
If you said zero, take a big bite of the cookie. How does it taste? Does it taste like it used to? How is it different?
For those of you who answered with 1-10, you have more work to do. We’ll do another round.
Let’s start again with the set-up phrase.
Even though I still really want that cookie, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Notice that it has changed. We added the word “still.” We want to change the wording so that the subconscious mind can’t say, “We just did that.”
So, tapping on the karate chop point, say the set-up phrase 3 times: Even though I still really want that cookie, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Now tap on the 8 points, twice around as before, saying: I still really want that cookie.
Take another assessment, 0-10. If you said zero, try tasting it and doing anything you can to raise the number up from zero. If you can’t, you’re done. If you still want the cookie a little, try: Even though I still have some remaining cookie cravings, I deeply and completely accept myself.

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