Identity in the Growth Stage: An Authentic Self
In the Growth stage, the person has a strong, positive sense of self and of identity.
Introspection in the Preparation stage and putting one’s values into practice during the Rebuilding stage have led to a firm sense of self-worth. Often the loss of goals with the onset of illness results in a self-exploration that many people who do not experience such loss will never undergo (see Watson, 1994, above), resulting in a stronger sense of self, for example:
[I] know where I stand on issues and know what I am about. It used to be that every time I encountered someone with strong opinions I would feel confused . . .. Unless I know what I stand for, everyday events will confuse me and my behaviour will be erratic at best. (Anonymous, 1994b, p. 25)
Now, when I speak or write, I do so as a total self, a whole person, and I do not worry about my illness or sick self ‘showing’. In fact, I feel very good about myself and what I am doing. (Weingarten, 2005, p. 77)
People who have an enduring sense of self, represented by stable, value-congruent goals, are better at setting adaptive goals after the onset of disability (Elliott et al., 2000). Deegan exemplifies this idea of goal flexibility within a stable framework of values when she says, ‘But now, rather than being an occasion for despair, we find that our personal limitations are the ground from which spring our own unique possibilities’ (1994, p. 56). Leibrich (1997), for example, describes how freedom from medications enabled her to develop that important part of her self that is a poet:
I have a home again, friends, love, work, a family. I also have my poetry and have come
to see that the very part of me that was once drugged away is what makes me write. And after all being a poet is an easier role than a psychiatric patient! (p. 44)
On the other hand, Fekete (2004) tells how medications and a medical understanding of the illness have enabled him to rebuild a positive identity. He says that, although he is not sure that he is the same person as he was before the illness, he likes who he is now. After listing his many successful endeavours since he developed the illness, Fekete offers this hopeful message to others:
I have a good life. Having a neuro-chemical imbalance is not the end of life as we knew it. There is a vast spectrum of ways to live and love life with a neuro-chemical imbalance . . .. Never give up. Never, never give up. (p. 194)
And recovery is not necessarily a matter of fulfilling the roles traditionally valued in our society. More important than aspiring to fulfil the expectations of others, then, is striving to live an authentic life:
They may tell you that your goal should be to become normal and to achieve valued roles. But a role is empty and valueless unless you fill it with your meaning and your purpose. Our task is not to become normal. You have the wonderfully terrifying task of becoming who you are called to be. (Deegan, 1997, p. 24)
As noted in Chapter 2, many consumers have reported feeling that they are a better person as a result of their struggle with the illness. Participants in Lapsley et al.’s (2002) research reported developing personal qualities, including: strength and courage; more confidence in the self; resourcefulness and responsibility; a new philosophy of life; compassion and empathy; a sense of self-worth and being happier and more carefree. Very few people noted negative changes, and those who did generally said that they were now more cautious (Lapsley et al., 2002). The process of recovery, and the re-examination of values and assumptions, therefore fosters personal growth. For example, John (1994), who earlier described the culture of sport and sexual prowess in which he was raised, tells how his change of values improved his sense of self: ‘I look on my schizophrenia as a source of growth rather than as something I have to manage. There can always be growth out of trauma’ (p. 8). An interviewee in Young and Ensing’s study went so far as to say recovery should be referred to as ‘a better me through the recovery process’ (1999, p. 226), and this is echoed by another consumer, who is quoted as saying ‘I’m more of a person now than I ever was before the illness’ (Pettie and Triolo, 1999, p. 260).
The stories of recovered consumers can be understood in terms of ‘narrative identity’ (McAdams, 2001). A person constructs a story that links their past, present and future in a way that brings them to an understanding of how they fit in with the world, thus imbuing their lives with a sense of unity and purpose (McAdams, 2001). People can learn and grow from their negative experiences, and this ability to learn from one’s experiences promotes personal adjustment, stress-related growth and maturity (J. Singer, 2004). In Waterman’s (1993) terms, the person has truly found ‘someone to be’. Young and Ensing (1999) found that people in the final stage of recovery reported being well enough to ‘strive for ideals that are often associated with stable psychological health and self-actualization’ (p. 227). We discussed in the Rebuilding stage how, when life goals have been lost, a person needs to rebuild a future that is as meaningful as the previously imagined future (King, 1998).
This process requires an internal search for one’s core values, and a redefinition of goals that are in keeping with these values (e.g. King, 1998). Therefore, although the specific goal may change, it nonetheless serves the same higher value that represents the core self.
In the Growth stage, the person has a strong, positive sense of self and of identity.
Introspection in the Preparation stage and putting one’s values into practice during the Rebuilding stage have led to a firm sense of self-worth. Often the loss of goals with the onset of illness results in a self-exploration that many people who do not experience such loss will never undergo (see Watson, 1994, above), resulting in a stronger sense of self, for example:
[I] know where I stand on issues and know what I am about. It used to be that every time I encountered someone with strong opinions I would feel confused . . .. Unless I know what I stand for, everyday events will confuse me and my behaviour will be erratic at best. (Anonymous, 1994b, p. 25)
Now, when I speak or write, I do so as a total self, a whole person, and I do not worry about my illness or sick self ‘showing’. In fact, I feel very good about myself and what I am doing. (Weingarten, 2005, p. 77)
People who have an enduring sense of self, represented by stable, value-congruent goals, are better at setting adaptive goals after the onset of disability (Elliott et al., 2000). Deegan exemplifies this idea of goal flexibility within a stable framework of values when she says, ‘But now, rather than being an occasion for despair, we find that our personal limitations are the ground from which spring our own unique possibilities’ (1994, p. 56). Leibrich (1997), for example, describes how freedom from medications enabled her to develop that important part of her self that is a poet:
I have a home again, friends, love, work, a family. I also have my poetry and have come
to see that the very part of me that was once drugged away is what makes me write. And after all being a poet is an easier role than a psychiatric patient! (p. 44)
On the other hand, Fekete (2004) tells how medications and a medical understanding of the illness have enabled him to rebuild a positive identity. He says that, although he is not sure that he is the same person as he was before the illness, he likes who he is now. After listing his many successful endeavours since he developed the illness, Fekete offers this hopeful message to others:
I have a good life. Having a neuro-chemical imbalance is not the end of life as we knew it. There is a vast spectrum of ways to live and love life with a neuro-chemical imbalance . . .. Never give up. Never, never give up. (p. 194)
And recovery is not necessarily a matter of fulfilling the roles traditionally valued in our society. More important than aspiring to fulfil the expectations of others, then, is striving to live an authentic life:
They may tell you that your goal should be to become normal and to achieve valued roles. But a role is empty and valueless unless you fill it with your meaning and your purpose. Our task is not to become normal. You have the wonderfully terrifying task of becoming who you are called to be. (Deegan, 1997, p. 24)
As noted in Chapter 2, many consumers have reported feeling that they are a better person as a result of their struggle with the illness. Participants in Lapsley et al.’s (2002) research reported developing personal qualities, including: strength and courage; more confidence in the self; resourcefulness and responsibility; a new philosophy of life; compassion and empathy; a sense of self-worth and being happier and more carefree. Very few people noted negative changes, and those who did generally said that they were now more cautious (Lapsley et al., 2002). The process of recovery, and the re-examination of values and assumptions, therefore fosters personal growth. For example, John (1994), who earlier described the culture of sport and sexual prowess in which he was raised, tells how his change of values improved his sense of self: ‘I look on my schizophrenia as a source of growth rather than as something I have to manage. There can always be growth out of trauma’ (p. 8). An interviewee in Young and Ensing’s study went so far as to say recovery should be referred to as ‘a better me through the recovery process’ (1999, p. 226), and this is echoed by another consumer, who is quoted as saying ‘I’m more of a person now than I ever was before the illness’ (Pettie and Triolo, 1999, p. 260).
The stories of recovered consumers can be understood in terms of ‘narrative identity’ (McAdams, 2001). A person constructs a story that links their past, present and future in a way that brings them to an understanding of how they fit in with the world, thus imbuing their lives with a sense of unity and purpose (McAdams, 2001). People can learn and grow from their negative experiences, and this ability to learn from one’s experiences promotes personal adjustment, stress-related growth and maturity (J. Singer, 2004). In Waterman’s (1993) terms, the person has truly found ‘someone to be’. Young and Ensing (1999) found that people in the final stage of recovery reported being well enough to ‘strive for ideals that are often associated with stable psychological health and self-actualization’ (p. 227). We discussed in the Rebuilding stage how, when life goals have been lost, a person needs to rebuild a future that is as meaningful as the previously imagined future (King, 1998).
This process requires an internal search for one’s core values, and a redefinition of goals that are in keeping with these values (e.g. King, 1998). Therefore, although the specific goal may change, it nonetheless serves the same higher value that represents the core self.
