 |
| Becoming Okay With How You Feel |
Becoming Okay With How You Feel
In the first step, you become okay with how you feel about the situation. This is much easier to do if you understand what emotions represent.
In the first step, you become okay with how you feel about the situation. This is much easier to do if you understand what emotions represent.
Emotions are the vibrational manifestation of the thought you are thinking. No matter how emotions feel, they are neither good nor bad. Emotions are information. They simply tell you where the thought you are thinking is, in relationship to what you are wanting. If the emotion feels good, the thought you are thinking is in alignment with what you are wanting. If the emotion feels bad, the the thought you are thinking is in contrast to what you are wanting.
A bad-feeling emotion is merely giving you the opportunity to bring a thought that does not serve you into alignment. These bad-feeling emotions are a necessary part of the manifestation process.
The fact is that we are constantly evolving. We never stop reaching for expansion, whether that expansion feels like relief or joy. As we reach for this expansion, thoughts that once served us but are no longer in alignment present themselves by using bad-feeling emotions like warning flashers, so we can refine and redefine what we want to experience.
A bad-feeling emotion is merely giving you the opportunity to bring a thought that does not serve you into alignment. These bad-feeling emotions are a necessary part of the manifestation process.
The fact is that we are constantly evolving. We never stop reaching for expansion, whether that expansion feels like relief or joy. As we reach for this expansion, thoughts that once served us but are no longer in alignment present themselves by using bad-feeling emotions like warning flashers, so we can refine and redefine what we want to experience.
Once you understand that emotions are simply information, it is easier to be okay with the way you feel.
Let's use a hypothetical example to work through the process of becoming okay with a bad-feeling situation:
Your supervisor calls you in the morning before you leave for work and asks you to pick up some toner for the printer at work. You are copresenting this morning and you need to print handouts. It is only slightly out of your way to get the toner, but you really hate that store because the service is lousy and the people who work there are surly and act put-out when you ask them to do something—like look up which toner goes with your printer.
This isn't really in your job description, and everybody knew the toner was getting low. There was a yellow light for the last week. But now you have to miss your “me time” with your coffee to make up for “their” mistake.
As you arrive you notice a person pulling out of a parking spot near the front. Giving the person plenty of room to pull out, you put on your blinker to signal that you are waiting for the spot. The person pulls out in front of you, opening a lane to opposing traffic. A guy pulls in from the other direction before you can move, jumps out of the car, and gives you a smirk.
You end up parking towards the back of the lot.
At this point it comes to your attention that you don't like what has just happened and you are angry about it.
Okay, I know it is not you, but let's pretend.
Rather than trying to ignore the anger and hoping it will go away before your meeting, you recognize it as contrast and realize you are thinking a thought that is not in alignment with what you are wanting. You recognize that anger is just telling you that you need to stop and pay attention.
You know you want to be okay with how you feel, so you ask yourself, “Is it okay that I am angry?”
Let's use a hypothetical example to work through the process of becoming okay with a bad-feeling situation:
Your supervisor calls you in the morning before you leave for work and asks you to pick up some toner for the printer at work. You are copresenting this morning and you need to print handouts. It is only slightly out of your way to get the toner, but you really hate that store because the service is lousy and the people who work there are surly and act put-out when you ask them to do something—like look up which toner goes with your printer.
This isn't really in your job description, and everybody knew the toner was getting low. There was a yellow light for the last week. But now you have to miss your “me time” with your coffee to make up for “their” mistake.
As you arrive you notice a person pulling out of a parking spot near the front. Giving the person plenty of room to pull out, you put on your blinker to signal that you are waiting for the spot. The person pulls out in front of you, opening a lane to opposing traffic. A guy pulls in from the other direction before you can move, jumps out of the car, and gives you a smirk.
You end up parking towards the back of the lot.
At this point it comes to your attention that you don't like what has just happened and you are angry about it.
Okay, I know it is not you, but let's pretend.
Rather than trying to ignore the anger and hoping it will go away before your meeting, you recognize it as contrast and realize you are thinking a thought that is not in alignment with what you are wanting. You recognize that anger is just telling you that you need to stop and pay attention.
You know you want to be okay with how you feel, so you ask yourself, “Is it okay that I am angry?”
Did you see the smirk on that guys face? He was just so proud of himself. It's a good thing I don't go for vandalism.
So you can't be okay that you are angry. Ask yourself, “Is it okay that I'm not okay with being angry?”
You know, guys like that should have to wear a hat that says “Butthead” on it, you know, to warn the rest of us.
Still not okay. So you step back even further. “Is it okay that I don't like the way I feel when I am angry?
Being angry sucks.
That one felt like relief. See, your emotional compass kicked in to let you know that you found the point where you can be okay with the situation. What we did here was step-by-step back away from the situation until we could find where we could be okay with it. If needed, we could have gone even further back by asking, “Can I be okay with the fact that I'm not okay with the way I feel when I am angry?” And we keep stepping back until we find the thought that feels like relief.
Once we find the spot that feels like relief, we have shifted the momentum and now we are headed toward expansion. We use this momentum to bring us closer to the center of the contrast. “Can I now be okay that I'm not okay with being angry?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Once again, we feel relief. So now we look again at, “Can I be okay that I am angry?”
He was so smug.
Still not ready. A good question to ask at this point is, “Was anger an appropriate response to the situation?”
He was a jerk. Of course I should be angry. So the answer is yes, anger is an appropriate response. There is relief in saying so.
Now the resistance collapses and you are okay that you are angry.
So you can't be okay that you are angry. Ask yourself, “Is it okay that I'm not okay with being angry?”
You know, guys like that should have to wear a hat that says “Butthead” on it, you know, to warn the rest of us.
Still not okay. So you step back even further. “Is it okay that I don't like the way I feel when I am angry?
Being angry sucks.
That one felt like relief. See, your emotional compass kicked in to let you know that you found the point where you can be okay with the situation. What we did here was step-by-step back away from the situation until we could find where we could be okay with it. If needed, we could have gone even further back by asking, “Can I be okay with the fact that I'm not okay with the way I feel when I am angry?” And we keep stepping back until we find the thought that feels like relief.
Once we find the spot that feels like relief, we have shifted the momentum and now we are headed toward expansion. We use this momentum to bring us closer to the center of the contrast. “Can I now be okay that I'm not okay with being angry?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Once again, we feel relief. So now we look again at, “Can I be okay that I am angry?”
He was so smug.
Still not ready. A good question to ask at this point is, “Was anger an appropriate response to the situation?”
He was a jerk. Of course I should be angry. So the answer is yes, anger is an appropriate response. There is relief in saying so.
Now the resistance collapses and you are okay that you are angry.
