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| Core Issues and Aspects |
Core Issues and Aspects
It is rare that a core issue would have only one aspect. If your father constantly ridiculed you, you might have feelings of shame for being ridiculed, fear that he will ridicule you again, anger and resentment for being ridiculed, guilt for being angry at your father, sadness because he doesn’t love you, sadness because you can’t get anything right, and shame that you can never be good enough for your father. Each of these aspects may take several rounds of tapping.
And as mentioned before, the core issue may be comprised of more than one experience. In addition to ridiculing you about the sock incident, he may have ridiculed your idea for a lemonade stand. He may have made fun of your boy/girl friend. He may have made fun of the way you dressed or what you liked to do. Each of these experiences may have multiple aspects.
It is rare that a core issue would have only one aspect. If your father constantly ridiculed you, you might have feelings of shame for being ridiculed, fear that he will ridicule you again, anger and resentment for being ridiculed, guilt for being angry at your father, sadness because he doesn’t love you, sadness because you can’t get anything right, and shame that you can never be good enough for your father. Each of these aspects may take several rounds of tapping.
And as mentioned before, the core issue may be comprised of more than one experience. In addition to ridiculing you about the sock incident, he may have ridiculed your idea for a lemonade stand. He may have made fun of your boy/girl friend. He may have made fun of the way you dressed or what you liked to do. Each of these experiences may have multiple aspects.
If you don’t know where to start, look at the experiences and use logic. “If my father constantly made me feel stupid, I probably resented him. If I hated my father, and hating my father is a sin (honor thy father), then I probably feel guilty.” Make guesses and suppositions and try them out.
“I probably resent my father.” Then look closely and see if resentment is there. It’s okay to guess wrong. If it’s not okay to guess wrong, then maybe your father ridiculed you when you made mistakes.
Try asking yourself, “I don’t know what feeling I need to tap on, but if I did, it would be ____.”
As you get better at this self-examination, you will start to recognize your “tells,” the feelings or intuitions that tell you that you are getting close to discovering a locked-up emotion.
You have to be a detective in your own emotional life. EFT can become a great adventure of exploring your inner world. What comes out the other end of this adventure? The freedom to act and feel, knowing that what you are feeling is in the moment rather than a rehash of old pain.
“I probably resent my father.” Then look closely and see if resentment is there. It’s okay to guess wrong. If it’s not okay to guess wrong, then maybe your father ridiculed you when you made mistakes.
Try asking yourself, “I don’t know what feeling I need to tap on, but if I did, it would be ____.”
As you get better at this self-examination, you will start to recognize your “tells,” the feelings or intuitions that tell you that you are getting close to discovering a locked-up emotion.
You have to be a detective in your own emotional life. EFT can become a great adventure of exploring your inner world. What comes out the other end of this adventure? The freedom to act and feel, knowing that what you are feeling is in the moment rather than a rehash of old pain.
